Imposter Syndrome in Mental Health
Alyssa: But we have these concepts that are often talked to us about imposter syndrome, and we hear a lot. I hear a lot of times from associates or people in training, people in universities who are students saying that they have imposter syndrome. So you even hear that from, you know, high-ranking CEOs.
And in the end of the day, we talk a lot about imposter syndrome as though it's a fault of the person, that they need to be stronger willed or have more, um, self-identity and all kinds of things. But at the end of the day, we don't talk about what's really at the root of this. And what the root of in the Imposter syndrome is a system of Oppression that consistently non-stop sends us messages that we are not enough, that we are incapable, that there is something better than who we are.
And if we really look at that, it's just not true. Every single one of us has value. Every single one of us, regardless of Education, regardless of the socioeconomic income, regardless of all the societal Norms, we are valuable just us being us.
Melissa: For our audience who maybe don't know what you mean by imposter syndrome, can you share a little bit more about that? What that is, what it looks like,
Alyssa: It’s where, when, any time that we're in situation and we think like: I'll give an example, that's a lot easier, if we're at work, in whatever situation that we're in, and we're sitting there. We want to give an answer, we want to say something, we're like, I don't really know if I know the answer, I'm not sure. What if I'm wrong? How are people going to see me? How are people going to perceive me? Are they going to see me as less competent?
When in reality, you know the damn answer the whole time. You knew exactly what you were doing. But we sit there, and we're afraid, like, maybe I'm not supposed to be here. I would say for brown and black bodies, and, you know, BIPOC, not just brown and black bodies, but BIPOC, but many times it is: I don't belong here. Um, this isn't my space. I'm not enough. I'm not educated enough. I don't know enough.
And so we sit there and feel like we're an imposter in a place where we belong, and not only where we belong, but we deserve to be. And that creates these feelings of fear. It limits us because we're less likely to take a risk, we're less likely to step outside and say, this is me, and highlight ourselves. And we tend to fall, we tend to wait and rely on other people to speak first, so we never really get to step into our true power.
Melissa: Mm-hmm, yes. And you know, as you're saying that, definitely people of color, and I think women, right? People whose voices have been taken from them in the past, it's hard to step into that and feel like I do deserve to be here. I am as smart as this person next to me.
Alyssa: Yes, I mean, how many times are we going to play, I will speak for myself, I don't know how many times that I've been in places where I go to say something, and usually it's male or a white-bodied man who will say, "Well, I don't know about that." And sometimes it has been difficult, because we've been told that if we counter that, or we say anything back, that we're being argumentative. And so that's another internalized system of Oppression. Like, am I being argumentative? Am I being disrespectful or rude? Or am I being direct?
Melissa: I just imagine with a lot of the healers you work with in training, there is some work you do around their own imposter syndrome. And I'm curious, for our listeners who have heard this term either for the first time now, or they've heard it and are acknowledging like, yeah, I do have some imposter syndrome, what kind of tips do you have for them? Or how would you help work with people on imposter syndrome to really have that confidence and just kind of push it out of their head?
Alyssa: One of the things that I really do is values work. And what that is, it's not rocket science. Printed out a Google words, and then after that, we looked at our values. Where do my values lie? Is this in the Physical Realm, the spiritual realm, the emotional realm. And looking at it, and literally it starts with taking the words and placing them where they belong, where you believe they belong. And then after that, what are the words that continually pop up? Those are our core values.
And when we make choices, and we make decisions, and our core values don't necessarily waiver as we go through life, so if we know our core values and we make decisions based on those core values, well then we'll always be in alignment, and we know we're doing exactly what we need to do.
For example, one of my core values is curiosity. That becomes hard sometimes when I am talking to a Neo Nazi. Do I really want to be curious, or do I want to run away, right? But the truth is, I have, in my physical, spiritual, emotional world, I am curious. How did you come to this conclusion? How did you think of this?
And the more we know ourselves, we know our values, the less likely it is for others to disrupt our peace, to make us question ourselves, to make us doubt ourselves. And let's be honest, it will happen. But it's about moving from living in that state to being able to have that feeling and recognize it and remind ourselves that that's not true. That is fear speaking. That is something else speaking.
So I do a lot of values work. In terms of tips, it is really the more you know yourself, the better you will be able to manage, handle, work through anything that comes your way.
The other thing that I would say is, it's not just a statement that exists, a pretty fancy statement that we see a lot. It has to be a very ingrained belief: I am enough. And every single one of us is enough. I don't care who you are, you are enough. You are not alone. You never have been alone, and you never will be alone.
